Issue No. 50 –February 2010

 

 

 

 

FROM THE DIRECTOR

 

 

Empty Threats and Fake Promises: Big Mistakes    

 

Written by Elaine M. Gibson/Healthyplace.com

 

Parents can say the most ridiculous things at times. Most of us have been guilty at one time or another of making empty threats or offering fake choices.

Empty Threats

Making threats that can not possibly be carried out is worse than futile. A child dawdles in the morning and a parent, already running late, threatens, "If you don't hurry up, I'm going to leave you!" If this is a real possibility (the child is old enough to stay alone or another adult will be staying with the child), the statement is a promise, not a threat.

"If you don't eat the spinach, you are never going to get another meal in this house!" "If you don't pick up your toys, I'm going to give them to another child who will!" "If you don't stop sticking your head out the car window, we are going to leave you at the next rest stop!" Parents who use empty threats never get the desired results.

Children very quickly learn not to believe empty threats.

At best, threats just convince our children that we are feeling helpless. Kids angrily resent threats but they soon realize the truth. A parent who makes such statements has lost control and the kids have won!

Empty threats are a loss of control.

After a parent says something ridiculous as a threat, the child can challenge the threat and prove who is in control. Even if the parent resorts to physical force to make the child comply, the child has won. A wise parent will not make any threat that cannot be carried out. Remember, a promise is different. The results are promised, the child has a choice, and the parent acts.

Children never believe what we say, but they believe everything we do.

 

Fake Choices

Another common goof is offering choices when there are no choices. We want our children to do something and think that instead of giving an order, we will ask them politely if they want to do something. That's a desirable course of action when the child's response, positive or negative, is acceptable. The problem occurs when we need a specific response.

  • "Are you ready to take your bath? ... What do you mean 'no'!"

  • "Are you ready to come home now? ... Well, you have to anyway!"

  • "Would you like to go shopping with me? ... What do you mean later, I have to go now and you can't stay by yourself."

  • "What would you like to wear to the birthday party? ... I don't think a swimming suit in February is appropriate. ... I don't care if it is what you want to wear!"

 

Parents can give children choices, but only acceptable choices.

Children need the experience of making decisions, but if there are no acceptable alternatives, parents must never make it seem so.

For example:

  • "It is bath time. Would you like plain water or bubbles?"

  • "We are leaving in five minutes." (Children need transition time)

  • "We are going shopping. I know you do not enjoy this but I will try to be quick. We will be home before your favorite TV program."

  • "Would you like to wear your red dress or your yellow overalls to the party?"

  • "It is time for bed in 10 minutes."

 

Note -- Given a choice, creative children will come up with a third or fourth alternative. A wise parent will consider the alternatives and allow the child that privilege. Sometimes a compromise is in order. Negotiation is a skill all children need to learn and the best place for learning is at home.

Remember, watch what you say -- your kids are listening for mistakes. No empty threats, no fake choices.

Developmentally/Age Appropriate Monthly Activity

Developmentally/Age Appropriate Monthly Activity:

20 – 24 Months: Put small containers, spoons, measuring cups, funnels, a bucket, shovels, and a colander into a sandbox.  Don’t forget to include cars and trucks to drive on sand roads.

24 – 30 Months: Try a new twist to finger painting.  Use whipping cream (or shaving cream) on a washable surface.  Help your child spread it around and draw pictures with his/her fingers.  Add food coloring to give it some color.

30 – 36 Months: Collect empty boxes (cereal, tv dinners, egg cartons) and cleaned cans to help your child set up his or her own grocery store.

36 – 48 Months: During bath time, play Simon Says to teach your child names of body parts.  First, you can be “Simon” and help your child wash the part of his body that “Simon says.”  Let your child have a turn to be “Simon,” too.  Be sure to name each body part as it is washed and give your child a chance to wash himself.

48 – 60 Months: Encourage your child to learn her full name, address and telephone number.  Make it into a singing or rhyming game for fun.  Ask your child to repeat it back to you when you are riding in the car or on the road.

60 – 66 Months: Practice pretend play or pantomime.  Here are some things to act out: eating hot pizza with stringy cheese; winning a race; finding a giant spider; walking in thick, sticky mud; and making footprints in wet sand.

Quote of the Month

“It is, in fact, nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction have not entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry.”

Albert Einstein

Parental Support/Appreciation

A sincere thank you to Tatiana’s parents, Catherine and Bryan, for their caring efforts and time for making hot chocolate for all the students and parents on Snow Day, January 6!  Thanks to all the dads who helped turn the snow!

 A sincere thank you to Monica Thomas Parales and Xonia Perez for providing the multi faceted Science Fair to the P/K/K students on January 26, and to Claudia Saillant and Leslie Serrano for assisting.

Events/Activities for February

Catered Hot Lunch:  $67.50

February 1-5, Mon-Friday – International Week

February 5, Friday – Pizza day for full day students

February 12, Friday – Valentine’s Day Bake Sale

February 15, Monday – No School – legal holiday

February 19, Friday – Birthday Party Day

February 26 – Field Trip

Upcoming Notices/Events -March

Catered Hot Lunch:  $67.50

March 1, Mon. – No School – Work Day

March 5, Friday – CARNIVAL!

March 12, Friday – Group/Grad Pictures/Make-up & Pizza Day for full day students

March 19, Friday – Birthday Party Day

March 23, Tuesday – Dr. Mallett’s Seminar

March 26, Friday – Bake Sale

Mar 29-Apr 5, Mon – Mon – No School – Spring Break

February Birthdays

Evan M. (P/K1) – 2/2/05

Ava D. (Toddler) – 2/5/07

Amaia M. (P/K2) – 2/17/05

Catalina L. (Toddler) - 2/23/07

Gianna V. (P/K2) – 2/25/09

 Activities

Science Fair Day

It snowed at Montessori Children's House!

School Events This Month

International Week is Feb. 1 – 5.  Parents are encouraged to bring in cultural Food/dessert dishes and do a presentation of their heritage for their child’s class.

Valentine’s Day Bake Sale/Party Day – Friday, Feb. 12.

Field Trip onsite Friday, Feb. 26 - TBA

Shop at all your favorite stores online, save time, money and help your child’s school,

Montessori Children’s House, raise funds at no cost to you!

Montessori Children's House

12985 SW 112 Street, Miami, FL 33186
(Located in the Crossings area in West Kendall)

Phone: (305) 380-0513

Email:  info@montessorichildrenshouse.com

 

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